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My boys are 7 and 5 years old. Their room is ALWAYS a mess. I’ve threatened incessantly that I was going to throw their toys away if they did not clean up. I finally filled a large tub with their collection of cars, action figures and variety of other items. I selected the toys that I thought were most important tossed the remainder in the garbage. You know what I dont think they realize that these toys are missing and their room is so much neater.
I had a conversation with my co worker a few weeks back and she mentioned that she shreads all of her pay stubs. She remarked, what’s the point of holding onto all that stuff, worst case scenario you can always get a copy. I thought, you know she’s right. I then decided that I would shread nearly five years of pay stubs. I was shocked to see the pile had grown to almost two inches in height. I then wondered what other useless pieces of information was I hoarding.
I began the task of sorting and discarding and nearly two hours later saw that I had shread three waste baskets full of old bills, bank statements, pay stubs and other documents. I pondered why am cluttering my space with useless information? Useless, because it’s all gone and I dont miss it one bit.
I’ve always said that the state of one’s home is usually a reflection of their state of mind and because my clutter was hidden in little boxes I guess I felt pretty organized. But since I’ve decluttered my space of paper and boys’ toys I feel as if a huge weight has been lifted and I realize that I held on to that stuff largely due to procrastination and an unwillingness to make and follow through on decisions. Now, I am on a mission: gotta keep my space clutter free especially the kind that is hidden in cute little boxes and disguised as little boys’ toys. So far so good.
My sons started their new school today. This group of students is decidedly very ethnic and populated by new immigrants evidenced by the dispproportionate number of boys wearing less than fashionable high water pants and the young girls with their little plaits held at the ends with tiny barrettes. My oldest observed that it is much larger than his old school, I agreed.
We took the five year old over to join the line with his new classmates and I showered him with an excessive amount of hugs. He said “Bye Mommy” in a voice that is much too deep for someone in kindergarten. I though my baby is growing up. The teacher sensing my apprehension said ” The first day of kindergarten is a big day.” I thought, I don’t know if it’s a bigger day for me or the boy.
Boomerang courtesy of aero.iitb.ac.in
My girlfriend and I both received correspondence from former beaus who essentially regretted the break up and in hindsight would have made us their wives (LOL). She attributed this to them growing older experiencing a taste of the world and sampling the abundance of women available only to discover that they let a good thing go. I could not agree more.
In my experience both lived and hearsay, I find that to be the case. If you are indeed good person and a good partner your ex will usually regret their departure. I say if he wants to leave let him go. Give him all the room he needs and he will use it to find his way back to you usually much more appreciative of what he let go. At which point you can decide to:
A) Marry him (as one of my cousins chose to do)
B) Thank him for the sentiment but remain friends (this one usually works for me and offers you the greatest flexibility and you can do option C on the inside).
C) Laugh in his face and say HELL to the NAW (Very juvenile while it may provide momentary satisfaction your ex may regret his boomerang behavior.)
If I were to impart any advice I would say don’t fret, let him go and leave him alone. If you were really that good, you’ll know because he’ll return for more of all that goodness.
My children’s’ father and I were able to present our sons with a gift this past Saturday. It was nothing extravagant, but it was spectacular. The cost was minimal and required a few hours of my time. However, it was priceless. This was the first time I’ve ever seen my boys so happy. As a result I was happy. Overjoyed actually, my heart was filled. It reminded me that self-centered mommying at it’s core is really about the children, as self-centered mommies are usually the most joyful when their babies are genuinely happy.
W. Reid
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