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Tyra's real hair
As I attempt to reengage in the conversation on Black women’s hair and encourage dialogue I think it’s important to state that relaxed hair without a weave is simply that: relaxed hair. It sits on one end of the spectrum of hair textures while the curls, coils, waves and kinks of truly natural hair sits on the other. Chemically and artificially straightened by definition is not naturally straight. When we compare it to hair that you can buy at a store and attach to your head yes it is real, but if we compared relaxed hair to the hair that grows out of your scalp to my mind it is not only unnatural it is fake or false. Now if deciding to shed the weave if only for a moment is cause for celebration and adulation, I wonder what a conscious effort to end the addiction to the creamy crack (chemical relaxer) would bring about?
Somebody forgot spell check...
I saw a very pretty girl with two beautiful tattoos. They were truly artistic as the indvidual who etched them was a talented artist. Beautiful color, neat lines no bleeding ink. The first was of a skull on her arm and the other was of a vine with flowers across her back between her shoulder blades. BOTH detracted from the beautiful strapless wedding gown she wore on her wedding day. I dont know watcha ya heard but tattoos don’t go with every outfit.
What the heck is going on with tattoos? Has this trend not yet reached it’s peak? I have yet to see a tatt oo where I felt compelled to say “Yes! Brilliant, I want one just like [insert whatever here].” I am not anti anything. I am pro everyone doing what they believe is in their best interest yet I am wondering how much of what we do culturally speaking is motivated by group think rather than individual choice.
In my humble opinion we have gone over board with the doggone tattoos! “Loyalty” on your neck? REALLY. Your children’s, mom’s and lover’s name on your body? As IF you NEEDED to permanently etch it into your skin to remember their names. Let’s not forget the plethora of body doodles whose crooked lines and bleeding ink reflect the lack of skill/talent of the culprit, I mean “artist”. Oh, yes, and those symbols in languages you don’t speak, understand or to which you have no particular connection.
Just random nonsense: “201″ cause it’s the area code of my town where i grew up. Picture of a pitbull cause “I like them dogs.” Or cherries on your neck and cherries on your neck with a tongue in betwen. Or portraits of LIVING beings who are constantly changing. Baby Jas is not a baby anymore. She’s 9 now and looks totally different than the mess on your arm. Then one isn’t okay or two but now we are talking upwards of 10 tats. Everything can’t be that important that it requires being permanently memorialized and etched in ink into your skin. WHY?
Cause it’s the style?
Am I being too critical? One of my students told me to find a a woman without a tattoo these days is very rare. Is that true? What are your thoughts on tattoos? Do you have one or two or ten? What was your motivation?
Maybe because I am a single parent with two sons and a full time job (who’s created additional work by commiting to writing 2 blogs) I am rarely ever bored. I find that people who claim to be bored are usually relying upon others to entertain them.In other words only boring people are bored. If you are unable to stimulate yourself how is possible that you wish to charge another human being with that task?
If you are so boring that you are unable to entertain yourself, why would any one want to be in your company? If you wish to be in the presence of interesting people doing interesting things you must also be interesting. The creation of stimulating life lies in no one else’s hand but your own. If you are bored maybe you have too much free time on your hands; go out and do something.
Please take a look at this video:
I recently saw the video embedded in the link above. In my opionion. This person is speaking in “stereotype”. He is focusing on 1 type of psychology or mentality. I will however agree that this notion of the “STRONG independent BLACK Woman” is a bit overused and has to be revisited and reinterpreted.
Let’s face it some Black men see white women as a trophies, some actually want babies that are light skinned with “pretty hair” and that has nothing to do with how black women act. Whether or not they will admit it is another conversation.
The video prompted me to post on a topic I’ve often pondered: the power of the feminine or and or woman. Ultimately black women have to take responsibility for ourselves and perceived lack of power and one possible solution may be reclaiming some traditional values and the authority inherent within traditional rolls. This requires making choices that are aligned with personal values. For many that begins with simply identifying these values. Who want’s to give up being President of their own company to be President of the PTA? Is it possible to do both? What are our collective values? What do we think is important? Family or Fendi? Love or Louis? Joy or Jewely? Hope or Henny? Common goals/dreams or cash flow? Goal setting or gossip? Reality or reality tv?
For many the answers to these questions are not only a reflection of the so called “Black Community’ but of American society. Unfortunately as minorities we often feel the brunt of the negative consequences of these choices. I am curious what are your thoughts on this video? Is it accurate or asinine?
Good Manners Are Always in Style
Of all the areas in my child rearing adventures where I am not as consistent as I would like to be I think I am almost at 92% when it comes to manners. My boys are boys’ boys they are at times unruly and rambunctious (I attribute their activity to that testostersone). I ‘ve learned people are usually more forgiving if they say “Excuse me” after they’ve accidentally bumped into someone or “Sorry ” if they’ve unintentionally harmed another child or “Please” when making a request and “Thank you” upon receiving an item or service.
I work very hard to instill those basics into my boys and at times I encounter people who either 1. did not receive those lessons or 2. have decided to ignore or abandon these early teachings altogether. I know we live in an age where boundaries about almost all things conflate and blur. As a result people believe its okay to bend or break the rules to suit their needs in any given moment, but I miss the good old days when people said “please” and “thank you” without a second thought. I miss when folks felt it was imperative to call (text) if they couldn’t make it or were running late. I am longing for people to say “Hello” when entering a room and “Good bye” upon leaving. I think its great to hold the door for the person coming after you regardless of whether they are male or female. I think it’s important to tell a gentleman “Thank you” if he’s treated you to a day or night out. I am also a firm believer that (as someone has recently reminded me) when an adult is present children should “watch their mouth”.
What ever happend to manners and being just plain old polite? Fashion trends come and go, super stars rise and fall, relationships begin hot and grow cold, jobs are here today and gone tomorrow but for me manners will never go out of style. Forget about sexy it’s about time we bring manners back. By the way, thank you for reading and please come again.
W. Reid
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