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Google yourself

I googled myself today. I appeared approximately 640 times on the net. I also googled my image and there were quite a few photos of me as well pictures that were associated with sites where I posted comments. I must say my “prominence” on the web created a bit of internal anxiety as I wondered how my journey into cyber space via blogging and various online social and professional networking sites has severely bruised my sense of anonyminity.

To put things in persepective I googled Maxwell, he appeared about 200,00 times. Then I googled Obama and he appeared approximately 200 milion times. In comparison my 640 results is meager. For a private citizen such as myself my appeance on the web aggregrated by Google search engine was a bit of a shock, despite the fact that I have actively engaged in an internet self-marketing and promotion campagin. For some reason I did not make the connection that I would appear several hundred times via an online search. I thought: “I put so much of myself out there” and my mind began to race as to how I can reign in my online presence. Then it dawned on me: I can’t, once it’s in cyberspace it exists forever. I can only going forward be more vigilant in how I manage my online presence. I’m curious. Google yourself. What did you find?

Who is African-American?

I was born in Jamaica and came to the United States of America when I was 6 years old. Although its’ a term often reserved for the children of Jamaican parents born in the United States I’ve often considered myself “Jamerican”. A fusion. Not quite one or the other but a culmination of both experiences, occupying a unique social location only children who seek to navigate the terrain of assimlating to the nation their parents adopted while seeking to honor the cultures of “back home” can fully comprehend.

Going back over 2 decades, the authenticity of my “Blackness” was often challenged because my version of Black did not encompass the consumption of grits and collard greens and a host of other practices which seemed inconsequential to me. My peers in elementatry school would ask me if Jamaicans lived in huts or trees and they wondered if we wore clothes. Not so much these days. Jamaican food stores and West Indian markets pepper various street corners and neighborhoods. Hip Hop Stations must include reggae in their daily rotation in order to be considered relevant. Jamaican vernacular and dance styles in many ways are now at the heart of African American pop culture. I venture to say that in many major metropolitan areas where immigrants tend to coalesc there is a strong Jamaican/West Indian presence (at least on the east coast).

Despite the fact that Carribbean Americans have been in the US for a very long time the clip above has brought to my mind questions I’ve often pondered: Am I, was I or will I ever be African-American? Is the term African- American too specific or too vague to capture my experience? Although I’ve never been offended by the term I’ve never felt that it captured the essence of my experience the way “Jamerican” or “Afro-Carribbean American” does. But then again does negating the term altogether relinquish my ability to claim that yes African-Americans eat collard greens and yes they eat collaloo and green bannana too.

Paper Ghost

Did a paper ghosts expose the workings of white privilege?

Recently we went to a Halloween function at our local YMCA. Two women sat at a table where they were making ghosts from tissue. My two sons and I walked over to the table and requested a ghost from one of the women. As she completed her project for my oldest son a young boy came over to the table with his mother and baby brother . The woman immediately turned her attention to the young boy and asked him what color pipe cleaner would he like to use for his ghosts. My boys and I were waiting patiently and I said, “What about A, doesn’t he get a ghost too?”. She was visibly flustered and said, “Okay, I’ll make one for him.” But she completed the ghost for the little boy.

My son A then asked, “Do you have a son?” The woman responded “Yes I do, he’s around here somewhere.” A then followed up with “Is he brown or white?”. The woman responded “He’s white”. The other brown woman at the table shot me a glance and I couldn’t help but to smile. She finished up A’s ghost and we walked away from the table. Throughout the evening and beyond I wondered did my five year old interpret that this woman immediately responded to the little boy because he had the same skin pigment as her son? Did he somehow sense he was overlooked because he was brown unlike the woman’s son?

Did my 5 year old witness and experience the workings of white privilege first hand or am I just reading into this thing like an Africana Studies major with a naptural ( I dont relax my hair)? Thoughts?