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News flash: All men are NOT dogs. There are a lot of great men out there. If you haven’t found one perhaps you may want to consider adjusting your definition of greatness. All men are not ballers, shot callers, rappers or making six figure salaries. There is the man that works at UPS and values family. There is the single dad with a heart filled with love who has a 9 to 5 and struggles to make ends meet just like you, but he’s seeking the right partner with whom he can grow. There is the really nice gentleman who is the same height as you and may not be as toned as you would like, but he would value your heart, treat you well, get and use a gym membership if you asked nicely. There is the guy who you overlook because he’s a manager at McDonald’s and if you took time to say “Hello” and smile you would learn that he would treat you like the queen that you claim you are.
I am a bit sick and tired of the “All men are dogs”, mantra because that is just not possible and if you keep attracting dogs then perhaps you are the fire hydrant. Are you able to meet the standards that you have set for a potential mate or partner? Are you the best you can be? Are there areas within yourself that you can grow and heal emotionally and spiritually?
I know great men and great women but for some reason we fail to see the greatness in each other. I am not sure of what is going on and I am not sure of how to fix it but I know it’s not just the fault of “no good men”. We hear so much about these no good men that we forget about the good ones who do great things every single day.
Today I want to salute men for no particular reason at all, just for being them. Especially the ones of good character who KNOW within themselves that they are doing the BEST that they can to be good friends, husbands, lovers, fathers, workers, providers, protectors, brothers and boyfriends.
Today I just want to say no man bashing, “Let’s Hear it For the Boy”.
Within certain groups there is the tendency of some to move away from being defined as “black”. Some people prefer to be refered to by the nation of their birth or their parent’s birth rather than claim blackness, despite the fact their skin color and facial features are Africoid. On the other end of this conversation we have many Americans who believe black to be synonymous with only America.
In conversations with friends about their ethnic background they have said ”My mom/dad is Puerto Rican and my mom/dad is black” , and then I probed for the race/nationality of both parents. In one instance the response was my mother is Black Puerto Rican and my Father is Black American. In another the response was my Father is White Puerto Rican and my mother is Black American. I found it interesting in both cases how both friends identified the national origin of one parent yet I was expected to know the national identity of the other parent based on a racial category. I had a co worker say to me “But you’re not Black, your Jamaican.” I had to let him know I am black AND I am Jamaican. Same for “African-Americans”. They/We are Black AND American. Same for Dominicans, Haitians, Puerto Ricans, Venezuelans, Panamanians,St. Lucians, Trininidadians, Antiguans , Nigerians, Kenyans, Liberians, Ghanians and the list goes on.
When someone is identified as black I question: “What country? From where?” I dont automatically assume when someone is referred to as Black that they are American. Maybe it’s my hang up and I should get with the program. I already think “African-Americans” focus too little on their Americaness anyway (but that’s another post). Black is indeed diverse in the sense that many nations around the world have black people, not just America. Check out this past post on ”Neo-African American. Feedbacks and comments are welcomed!
Princess Tiana
I recently saw The Princess and the Frog with my two sons. I waited until we were in the theater and seated before I revealed the title of the movie. I was concerned that my 6 year old son would object to my selection as the movie of choice for his birthday celebration. Both boys allowed their mother this small pleasure and did not utter a peep until the conclusion what I believe is a Disney classic. I waited my whole life for this movie! (It was right up there with a Maxwell concert!) As a girl and young adult I loved all of the Disney movies with princesses, Cinderella, Snow White, The Little Mermaid, Mulan and Aladdin. I often wondered when they would make a movie about a little black girl. I was pleased with Lion King, but then I thought, ”We make a movie about Africa and we use animals? Nice.” When I read that Disney was making The Princess and the Frog I knew I had to see it. In fact, at first I was in disbelief as I thought it was a rumor.
I was so excited to see a little brown girl from a loving family in a Disney film. The fact that she was a princess took the cake for me! I dont have any thing deep or prolific to add, but I will say that Tiana represents that little black girls are princesses too. This image is profound not only for girls and boys of African descen, it is a wonderful representation for all children ( and their parents) around the world. Go see the movie even if you dont have any children and especially if you are like me and waited a very long time time to see a princess who looks kind of like you in a Disney film.
W. Reid
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