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For as long as I can remember I’ve pondered the “existence of nothing”. My mind wondered about the begining and end of the universe. Like many young people I attended church services and my first attempt to solve this riddle came in the form of Sabbath School (Seventh Day Adventist). My studies prompted even more questions. After discovering Greek Mythology I found myself even more confused as many of the tales were similar to those found in the Old Testament. I took a break from religion and decided that I would try to figure out the meaning of life on my own, yet I stumbled and found myself back to the begining and attending church. Rather than going to a Seventh Day Adventist church I tried multi-denominational churches on Sundays and still I found the dogma limited and lacking in it’s ability to resolve the numerous questions I have.
The other day my youngest son made a reference to God using a male pronoun, I said “How do you know know God is a He not a She?” The oldest replied, “God’s both”. His brother agreed, ” Yep, God is a man and a woman.” The oldest confirmed stating “God is a He-She. One part is girl and the other part is boy.” He used is hand to illustrate the partition from the crown of his head down the middle of his body. I said “Okay” and smiled.
I believe children intutively know the answers to the universe and really how to live life. They love unconditionally, forgive easily, dream big, abandon grudges and oh yes they also know that God is both male and female. My sons’ explanation made alot of sense to me. More sense than many preachers I’ve heard during Saturday or Sunday church services.
I went to church this past Sunday. Outside the building there is a sign that proclaims “Sinners are welcome.” Each time I’ve passed by the church I’ve smiled thinking: “How clever, that’s exactly where sinners should be.”
I received the message, participated in the obligatory call and response of the interactive church and smiled with amusement at the folks expressing the the holy ghost’s possession of their form through a variety of dances and movement….it’s actually my favorite part after a good sermon.
The pastor is an ex crack addict. He proclaimed during his sermon that he may offend some as his annointing is to speak to certain types of people. I thought to my self “Ex or recovering addicts such as your self? How appropriate [that an ex addict should have a message for those with various manifestations of abuse.]” And then I began to wonder as to the the nature of each respective attendee’s sin. As I sat amongst the congregatation feeling not as sinful as some and feeling more sinful than others then acknowledging all sins are equal in the eyes of God; it dawned on me that I was in the right place and I felt welcomed.


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